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General Category => Altrincham FC First Team => Topic started by: Graham Bennetts Perm on March 17, 2008, 02:24:15 PM



Title: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: Graham Bennetts Perm on March 17, 2008, 02:24:15 PM
A fine example of estate agent speak reported by the Laidlermeister....

....If you want to live in the luxury accommodation now being built on the former Altrincham FC car park, look at the Arley Homes website. The development is called "The Court Yard, Hale" and is described as "A select gated development of twelve townhouses and two apartments, within walking distance of Hale Village. The development is set out in a courtyard arrangement, a layout which ensures that residents will enjoy peace, quiet and privacy in discreet surroundings that are entirely in keeping with the prestigious nature of Hale and its environs".....

Strangely, the words spacious and exclusive are missing, as is the phrase "highly desirable" and  " this superb executive development benefits from a fabulous view and a delightfully delicate scent of open air toilet blocks and catering facilities,  drunken away supporters baring their arses for a laugh, the deranged cries of local nutters, and the gentle wafting sound of traditional songs regarding sticking things up your arse."

Any why is it called "The Courtyard"? Can we please give this a proper name...suggestions?


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: Saughall Robin on March 17, 2008, 02:29:41 PM
A fine example of estate agent speak reported by the Laidlermeister....

....If you want to live in the luxury accommodation now being built on the former Altrincham FC car park, look at the Arley Homes website. The development is called "The Court Yard, Hale" and is described as "A select gated development of twelve townhouses and two apartments, within walking distance of Hale Village. The development is set out in a courtyard arrangement, a layout which ensures that residents will enjoy peace, quiet and privacy in discreet surroundings that are entirely in keeping with the prestigious nature of Hale and its environs".....

Strangely, the words spacious and exclusive are missing, as is the phrase "highly desirable" and  " this superb executive development benefits from a fabulous view and a delightfully delicate scent of open air toilet blocks and catering facilities,  drunken away supporters baring their arses for a laugh, the deranged cries of local nutters, and the gentle wafting sound of traditional songs regarding sticking things up your arse."

Any why is it called "The Courtyard"? Can we please give this a proper name...suggestions?

Given that it's built in a defensive square formation, like a certain texas misson, and also like it, it's likely to be invaded by hordes of southerners, why not call it the Haleamo?


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: Railway Alty on March 17, 2008, 02:32:17 PM
Quote
why not call it the Haleamo?
:D   QUALITY


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: baldrick on March 17, 2008, 02:37:05 PM
It should be called the Chequered Past


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: jiminlondon on March 17, 2008, 02:44:56 PM
will you be able to watch the game on your balcony like those 'lucky' people at grays?


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: markecky on March 17, 2008, 02:52:31 PM
Sadly it will have no windows onto the ground as I understand it.

When I heard that I put the money back in the Post Office and looked elsewhere.


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: Bazbatteria on March 17, 2008, 02:58:06 PM
Any why is it called "The Courtyard"? Can we please give this a proper name...suggestions?

Thornley Manor

John King Acres

Market Dave Square

Coburn House

Acton Villas

Kenny Towers



Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: Saughall Robin on March 17, 2008, 03:19:46 PM
Real Estate Swindells?


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: Saughall Robin on March 17, 2008, 03:44:54 PM
(Hopefully NOT) Relegation Close


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: gazwarrington on March 17, 2008, 03:53:11 PM
Basically just "Chris Lane"

Imagine waking up on Chris Lane every morning ... uhhhhh

or

Builtaftertheground Avenue ... Just so they are aware that its silly to complain about things like the other residents do.


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: MadFrankie on March 17, 2008, 03:56:12 PM
"Oh my God I didn't see that football ground there when I bought the house" Close


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: SW on March 17, 2008, 04:05:30 PM
Travellers Rest


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: Saughall Robin on March 17, 2008, 04:07:13 PM
Geoff Street!


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: The Thriving Jezza on March 17, 2008, 04:34:19 PM

walking distance to Hale village????????????????

appealing to hikers I see.

turn the floodlights off flats.

why aren't flats called flats anymore...when did they become apartments?


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: jiminlondon on March 17, 2008, 04:38:31 PM

why aren't flats called flats anymore...when did they become apartments?

luxury ones at that
i cant remember the last time i saw any new build that wasnt described as luxury
luxury kitchens where you can touch two walls standing in the middle


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: SW on March 17, 2008, 10:51:02 PM
Its spread out from London since the sh*t that was built here inthe late 80's. Never thought the rest of the country would be mugged so easily. A granite work top and a tiled bathroom floor and hey ho, luxury till it dawns on the purchaser it is actually a shoe box social housing standard dump.


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: AltyTunnelSteward on March 18, 2008, 12:02:17 AM
Surely Maddox Mansions has to be the answer


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: Graham Bennetts Perm on March 18, 2008, 04:05:06 PM
Falty Towers perhaps?


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: VofD on March 18, 2008, 06:48:49 PM
HEATHCOTE HEIGHTS :-X :-X :-X


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: CR1 on March 18, 2008, 07:00:31 PM
Surely, Vof D, that should be HEATHCOTE DEPTHS??? ::)


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: Butty on March 18, 2008, 07:13:23 PM
Coburn Close
Swindells Street (or Square)


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: Holmes Chapel Alty on March 18, 2008, 08:13:38 PM
Howards Way???        Come that one is good and you know it  ;D


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: Hamilton on March 18, 2008, 08:17:34 PM
Howards Way???        Come that one is good and you know it  ;D

 Give you that one!

How about "Logan's Cossing?"


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: Saughall Robin on March 19, 2008, 08:51:37 AM
Coburn Close
Swindells Street (or Square)


When you look at how 'lean and mean' footballers are today, and the beef Jackie used to carry (very well indeed, I might add) on his relatively short frame, perhaps he was more 'square' than most!  ::)


Title: Re: A great opportunity for Alty fans to acquire....
Post by: The Golf Road Grumbler on March 19, 2008, 02:06:42 PM
Tunnacliffe Towers?