so this isn't on the main site? where can i read captains log?
CAPTAIN’S LOG by Robbie Lawton
It doesn’t seem so long ago I was considering putting my name forward for the vacant manager’s position at the club that I am so passionate about. I never thought that 7 starts later, I would be walking away from it all.
I began to sense some sort of clarification might be needed about my future when three central midfielders were picked ahead of me against Gloucester, and our right-back picked up an injury and I still didn’t get on.
That wasn’t a good sign, so I resolved to see the manager afterwards to try and find out where I stood. I wanted to remind him of how desperate I was to get back in the side and try and have an impact on the current position we are in. It was clear he was as disappointed as anyone with the defeat, and, after telling him what was on my mind, I honestly expected the reply to be along the lines of: ‘I’m going to have to make changes, and you might well find yourself back in the starting line-up next week.’
But that’s not how it went. He told me that, in the normal course of events, I wouldn’t be featuring in the team and that, while he recognised there were problems that needed addressing, he believed the answers lay outside the club, not from within. He informed me that I’m not part of his starting eleven but welcomed me as part his current squad.
He made it very clear he wasn’t pushing me out, and that I could stay if I wished. But he stated that if I wanted to play, it might be best if I moved on.
I was brought to the club by a man who had faith in me, but, as I left the manager’s office and mulled over the conversation that had just taken place, it was clear that faith was no longer there, and my time was up.
Let me make it clear that, gutted though I am to have walked out of Moss Lane as an Altrincham player for the last time, there was no personality clash between us. There is no lack of respect on my part. If anything, I respect him all the more for being honest, open and transparent and telling it how it is. That’s how I am as a person, and I appreciate that. The manager is very experienced and will go on to do a terrific job, I'm sure. He could easily have spun me a line about being patient and waiting for my chance, but that clearly isn’t his style. There was no messing me about, no flannel, and the moment the words left his mouth about maybe I should look elsewhere, I knew what the outcome was going to be.
I didn’t want it to happen. No player wants to hear that from his manager. I am truly gutted to be leaving, but my hand has been forced slightly. I’ve worked hard to get back from the tendinitis injury that ruled me out earlier this season, and I just can’t envisage training all week in the knowledge there’s going to be nothing for me, come Saturday, that I’m not going to be playing football.
If I had sensed a chance of playing, I would have stuck at it, but it was made plain those chances were going to be few and far between. I wasn’t looking for any guarantees. Managers can’t give those, and when I’m a manager, I certainly won't be giving any. That would have been unrealistic.
I’d like to think I’ve got a few years left in me yet, but I’m not getting any younger. My playing career hasn’t got that long to go, and I have no intention of simply letting what has been my most memorable years of football fizzle out. That’s why I had to take this step and look round for a club where I would have a reasonable chance of starting football matches.
I’m not arrogant enough to think that, because I’m club captain and have an identity here, that my name has to be on the team sheet every week. I’m OK with what the manager told me, and I accept that, just as a subjective point of view has seen many a good friend and team-mate come and go over the years, it’s now my turn to take it on the chin.
Right: Robbie celebrates in the game against Vauxhall Motors. Photo courtesy of Gavin Rathbone of GR Photography.
I won’t quibble with that, but I do believe I can still make a contribution and have an impact on a group of players and a team. That’s why I was clear in my own mind on Saturday night that I would drop down the football pyramid as much as need be to be playing again.
As I prepare for a fresh start, I can’t help wondering whether being a non-contract player all my days at Moss Lane might have worked against me. That was my status when I arrived, and as the club began moving towards putting players on contracts, it just never happened for me. I just never saw myself going anywhere else, but if I had signed one, maybe I’d be going out on loan somewhere now, instead of having to cut my ties
There’s no point dwelling on that too much, though. If I’m going to look back, I’d rather reflect on all the good times, and the great people I’ve shared them with. Victories away at Oxford and police escorts away from the ground, ecstatic scenes when turning over Grimsby and Darlington, my dance in the goal after smashing Northwich on Boxing Day, just a snippet of the unbelievable memories.
There have been low points – not least the relegations that never actually materialised and the one that did finally bring us down out of the Conference – but they are outweighed by happy memories of mixing with top people whose dedication to the club does them proud.
I would like to thank wholeheartedly everyone associated with the club for all their support over the last five-and-a-half years. Graham Heathcote took a chance on me, when he signed me from Vauxhall Motors, and some 200-plus games later, it’s clear I have a lot to thank him for.
The role of captain is something I always took very seriously, on and off the pitch, and I want to thank the board for the way they have supported me, as a player and skipper. To be leading a team of players who are representing probably the biggest part time club is something I’m very, very proud of.
A big thank you, too, to our supporters, particularly the hard core of fans who turn up every week, home and away, and really get behind me and the team. There have maybe been times when I have struggled with injury or lost form a bit, but you have always been supportive, and I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that. You’re a special bunch of people with exemplary morals and values.
I always remember, when Graham approached me about joining Alty, he described it as a people’s club that was run on proper lines. He said the fans will take to you, as long as they can see you are totally committed to the club on and off the pitch. That was all I needed to hear, and I hope I have shown that in the intervening years.
In a way, it’s a measure of my commitment to Altrincham that I have taken this decision. I just felt it was important I walked before I was pushed and that I went on my terms. It has been such a special time, I didn’t want it to end with someone telling me I had to go and pointing me towards the door.
Others have had to move on, after playing a significant part in the club’s fortunes, and there are a few names that spring readily to mind. I was really disappointed when Gary Scott left, Gary Talbot was another massive presence and, of course, Colin Little will remain an Alty legend for his phenomenal goalscoring prowess.
Maybe not everyone will be sad to see me go - you never win everyone over - but I hope I will be remembered for my less-than-glamorous style of play, my determination and desire to succeed on the pitch and pride at being an ambassador for the club off it.
I have got to know Altrincham FC well enough to realise it runs through the blood of the people who surround it. I have developed such an attachment, I’d like to think that applies to me, as well.
Certainly, I will always consider everyone at the club a personal friend, and I hope I might be welcomed back again before long, as an opponent, a spectator or opposing manager or coach. I really enjoyed helping Neil Tolson with things like the pre-match warm-up at Worcester, and I can’t see myself ever leaving football.
The management side is next on the agenda, after I finish playing, and who knows where that might take me? Back here to Alty one day? There’s a thought, but in the meantime, thanks again to every single one of you and all the very best until the next time. Go and get promoted!!!
Robbie".
Footnote: Robbie made 217 starts, plus 14 appearances from the bench, and scored 9 times for Altrincham.
As the website editor, I have always found Robbie a very friendly and approachable man who always gave his all for the club, whilst his "Captain's Log" articles were a model of articulate and entertaining commentary on the Club's ups and downs. I wish him all the best in his future career in football and thank him for his dedicated service to the club.
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