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+ www.altyfans.co.uk » General Category » Altrincham FC First Team
 Punchlines to your favourite jokes...
Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5

Author Topic: Punchlines to your favourite jokes...  (Read 17115 times)

markecky

  • Guest
Re: Punchlines to your favourite jokes...
« Reply #45 on: June 14, 2007, 12:04:50 PM »

Just for you Mr Beaver...

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.

The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman, he says, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."

The foreman then shrugs his beefy shoulders and says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a good dent in that pile of sand by the time I get back."

A few hours later when the foreman returns, he sees that the pile of sand is still untouched.

Pointing to the pile of sand, the forman says to the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom. You tella the Chinesea guy he inna charge of a supplies, but hea disappeara, and I coulda no finda him!"

Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and asks, "Didn't I tell you to shovel that sand?"

The Scotsman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, ye did, laddie, but I couldna get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinee in charge of supplies, but I couldna find him!"

The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the pile of sand, looking for the Chinese guy.

Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells,

"SUPPLIES!"
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bighairedmike

  • Guest
Re: Punchlines to your favourite jokes...
« Reply #46 on: June 14, 2007, 12:17:09 PM »

Gazelle, is this the one?

Your face look Ed Zachary like your ass!
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Jezza

  • Guest
Re: Punchlines to your favourite jokes...
« Reply #47 on: June 14, 2007, 12:20:47 PM »


And the queen says "it is a black mans cock?"
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teasybeaver

  • Guest
Re: Punchlines to your favourite jokes...
« Reply #48 on: June 14, 2007, 12:32:51 PM »

My favorite joke of the orient......


"What? You want chicken and cashew nuts?"
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bighairedmike

  • Guest
Re: Punchlines to your favourite jokes...
« Reply #49 on: June 14, 2007, 12:50:59 PM »

Has anybody heard the 'Hong Kong Dong' one?
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markecky

  • Guest
Re: Punchlines to your favourite jokes...
« Reply #50 on: June 14, 2007, 02:30:17 PM »

"that a peeking duck"

This is one of my favourite threads since the playoffs!
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bighairedmike

  • Guest
Re: Punchlines to your favourite jokes...
« Reply #51 on: June 14, 2007, 02:41:43 PM »

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his

wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but

will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were eager to know

what the meat was on their plates, so begged their dad for the clue.

"Well" the father said, "It's what mummy calls me sometimes."

The little girl screams, "Don't eat it.... it's a f***ing arsehole!!"
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Altysmiffy

  • Guest
Re: Punchlines to your favourite jokes...
« Reply #52 on: June 14, 2007, 10:55:57 PM »

True story: when I got married to my ex-wife-to-be my father in law asked me to write his speech. Included was the line: "I don't think of this as losing a daughter, more gaining an arse hole!"

Meanwhile.... punchline...."Eeeeeee Lord she was thin!"
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markecky

  • Guest
Re: Punchlines to your favourite jokes...
« Reply #53 on: December 03, 2009, 09:07:45 AM »

Reviviing this thread as its one of my favourites...
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taxi Phil

  • Guest
Re: Punchlines to your favourite jokes...
« Reply #54 on: December 03, 2009, 10:21:19 AM »

Well, having missed it the first time.........

Shall us take these off then ? I've not had a decent piss all week !

One's got a soul full of hope...........

I know we've a perfectly good telly at home, but THAT'S not the one I've left the passports on top of

......just as long as you don't hit me as hard as you hit that poor crocodile

No nurse, I said remove his SPECTACLES !

That's easy - can YOU see Manchester ?

...and now she's got cider inside 'er inside

At four quid a pint, I'm not bloody surprised !

Oh no, he'll have to do without - he's nasty when he's been on the shorts
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bighairedmike

  • Guest
Re: Punchlines to your favourite jokes...
« Reply #55 on: December 03, 2009, 01:06:47 PM »

Jesus looks over and says, "I really hate it when you do that, Mom."

I don't know, but he's got the Pope driving for him!

Papa they mean business! They've got a Jew nailed on a Cross in every room
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Paul Cain's Chip Pan

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Re: Punchlines to your favourite jokes...
« Reply #56 on: December 03, 2009, 03:58:25 PM »

Nice tits love! Where d'you want the blinds?
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Come on Alty!

Jezza

  • Guest
Re: Punchlines to your favourite jokes...
« Reply #57 on: December 03, 2009, 05:38:01 PM »

Can I see it run around a bit?
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Toff Apple

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Re: Punchlines to your favourite jokes...
« Reply #58 on: December 03, 2009, 07:30:15 PM »

Its great you never know when a nail will come in handy
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Bernard Taylors barmy army

Steve from Sale

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Re: Punchlines to your favourite jokes...
« Reply #59 on: December 03, 2009, 10:33:08 PM »

Guy making out with his girlfriend in Dunham Park Car Park.

Girl turns to boy and says - kiss me where it smells; so he took her to Northwich!!
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+ www.altyfans.co.uk » General Category » Altrincham FC First Team
 Punchlines to your favourite jokes...